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Eric's Fotopage
By: Eric Feathers
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| Sunday, 24-Dec-2006 23:45 |
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Seen, Heard and Had Around Town
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Adapting to San Francisco after more than 7 years in a remote region of Brazil has been an exciting and frustrating challenge. So often I'm mumbling to myself, "That looks pretty cool, can I try it?" or "I haven't got a clue what you're talking about." (or 'who')
Walking around Union Square I passed "Victoria's Secrets" and saw an enormous black and white photo of Gisele, Brazil's most famous supermodel. posing in very sexy black panties and now I'm seeing her in their TV ads. I thought I would miss her image plastered all over Brazilian media but now she's here.
Joke heard in a North Beach bar, "Somewhere in Texas a village has no idiot." Speaking of idiots in Texas, I can't imagine building a fence (wall?) on the U.S./Mexican border.
A sarcastic friend of mine says, "Yeah right. Who's gonna build it?"
I repeated this line to my sister who obviously heard it before, beacause she didn't miss a beat when she answered, "The Irish." (If this is about "Homeland Security" somebody should inform that jack ass in the White House that one of the foreigners who attacked the U.S. on 9-11 entered the country through Canada.)
Later that night in Specs, a woman squeezed in next to me at the bar and ordered a 'Grey Goose and cranberry,' prompting me to look over and say, "That sounds like Thanksgiving." I enjoy a dry vodka martini but I stick to the labels I know. Can somebody tell me what started the Baskin-Robbins of flavored vodkas?
San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsome was walking down Stockton Street in Chinatown the other day with a small entourage and a large video camera waving a stiff arm to people in the shops as if he were a princess on a parade float. Being young and good looking never harmed a politicians career although being single with a 20 year-old girlfriend might have some drawbacks. People are making a big deal about seing her with a glass of wine. Get a life folks.
One day while keeping a slow pace behind a homeless guy pushing a shopping cart through the Tenderloin/Civic Center area, a young woman yelled at him, "You got a syringe? I need a syringe to shoot up my heroin." He just mumbled and kept walking as did I.
Hey Muni! What's up with the 45 Union bus line? I'm glad I have a sense of humor because I'm often left wondering, "Which came first, the screwy passengers or the surly bus drivers?" I sometimes ride that bus through Chinatown from North Beach to Market Steet and in less than two months I've had some rather unusual encounters. It's been my experience that where ever the bus stops along the designated zone is where we board so when I was accross the street zig-zagging through stopped cars to catch the bus stopped at the corner I ran in front of the bus to board the front door. Well of course when I was square in front of the bus it lurched forward and hit me. Nothing major, I instinctively put up my arm and got a bruising from this new bike rack the busses have now. Reaching the curb I found only one other passenger trying to board, an older black guy in a wheelchair and as we both looked at the driver he started yelling at me through the closed doors. "What are you trying to do? I almost hit you!"
"Hey you did hit me but I'm alright. Why don't you open the door?"
"I can't believe I almost hit you."
"You DID hit me, but come on, I gotta get across town."
"I'm not gonna let that drunk on my bus."
I looked at the guy in the wheelchair and concluded he looked a little down on his luck but harmless enough at which I turned back to the driver and shrugged my shoulders as if to say, "What gives?"
Suddenly the guy in the wheelchair jumped up on his one leg and started yelling something incomprehensible at the driver which came to me as a cue for me to give up and catch another bus. A week later I was left wondering if these drivers aren't just a bit sadistic. Why won't they wait for a passenger (me) running in the rain? Maybe they just don't pay attention. I saw a similar incedent to the one that bruised my arm but this time a driver turning the same corner (Columbus and Stockton for the record) stopped to converse with another bus driver headed the opposite way. When he proceeded to curb his bus a pedestrian was right in front of him causing him to slam on the brakes. I was right behind her yelling at everyone to be careful. I then crossed while waving my arms and signaling to the driver NOT to move while I crossed. Boarding the bus I said, "You didn't see her, did you?"
"She's not supposed to be in front of the bus. That's why they have crosswalks."
Sitting sown, I shot back, "Your bus was blocking the crosswalk."
Which came first? continued...
While standing on a crowded 45 Union waiting to pull away from a stop on Stockton Street, a tiny little Chinese woman held us up by putting one foot on the bus while the other stayed planted on the asphalt. She was yelling up the street in Chinese while we started to giggle at her companion weighed down with bags and waddling up to the bus like a busy duck. Giggles gave way to laughter when this tiny woman's little head finally appeared smiling sans several teeth. She was wearing a toy fireman's hat backwards, chin strap in place and thanking the driver for waiting.
The big black woman driving our bus said, "Thank them," referring to the crowd of passengers, "they're the ones you're holding up."
"Oh. I sorry."
Driver; "No you're not. Now go take a seat."
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